Everybody Cheats-VII

..’ Jalne main kya mazah hai…’ this line of hers still haunts me. To get burnt in her philo was supposed to be divine, kind of bliss. I will come to that later.

I have been receiving number of mails, calls, messages from readers of iland that sometimes they do not relate who is who[ I understand this, for obvious reasons, I can not give proper ID/names of people here, as I respect each of theirs’ privacy & world] and while I summarized all inquisitiveness/inquiries/curiosities/questions… the gist is.. “How did it all start?”…and, “Who is who?” So, folks, here is my attempt to simplify most of the equations so far, hoping this will help readers to sense my blog in better perspectiveJ

I am trying to portray as much realistic as possible about these people, excepting names and few other tit bits which might, just might give away their real identity, just in case someone  from my/their real world go through this blog. Not that it will be anything harmful or hurting, yet why even take the chance in rocking any boat or topple any apple cart. End of the day, I DO care for them all and always will.

1. Me/I- A late forties man, married nearly two decades and half, professionally well established in some consultancy, financially comfortable, having grown up children who have gone beyond college but not into profession yet. Last leg of their education. Siddharth is my name, most friends call me Da. Just a normal middle class guy. Ordinary, yes funny thing about Da is everything is just ordinary. NO waves or turmoil ever happened, remarkable enough to mention in his personal or social life. No major ailments physically [I have reading glasses, need them to take off while watching TV and suffered from toothache sometimes]. School, college, MBA.. just above average, no hi-funda stuff. I drive a Verna now. Courtship few years, married to next door girl.Neighbours/relations termed it as love marriage. Couple of job changes and in just normal ordinary routine climbed the corporate ladder with time and years. 5-10, dark brown eyes, saltNpepper hair, does 5 days a week gym [no weights, just cardio], hates milk, terrible bathroom habits, and hopeless with dates and numbers, Black is fav color, a little extravagant with money.

2. My wife- Don’t know why/how/who once called her ‘chandramukhi’, probably that was the character she played in a college play once and I thought it would be apt to call her henceforth chandramukhi or just mukhi. Yes, Mukhi my wife and her life is just mirror image in female version, i.e. everything just normal, just ordinary. She is a teacher and a health freak, rather a gym-cum-parlor-freak. I call her miser and kanjoos; she loves to call herself ‘wiser’. Mukhi’s academic results were much better than me all through. She loves me. She is 5-3, long black hair [L’Oreal dye she uses], usually salwar kurta, jeans while traveling and vacation. We are of same age, am just one & half months older than her. Mukhi’s BP at borderline on higher side, hereditary arthritis. Mukhi is meticulously organized around households at a very irritating level [ e.g. living room wall clock & bedside alarm clock must not have even a seconds difference, she makes sure the pen on the telephone stool actually has a refill to write always, the imported treadmill she purchased 2^nd hand must never be used as a towel-rack by me etc etc]. She is a shade darker than me and in conventional Indian way she is a very sharp featured good looking woman. I happened in her life when she was in 1^st year college and her first short fling/affair/crush [her friend’s elder brother] got married. Mukhi hates smokers’ of this world, including myself, even when I gave up smoking at home. Occasional/social drinking, she is game. She writes post-dated cheques of all insurance premiums for the year on 1^st January, every year and keeps them in separate envelopes, writing the dates on them to be deposited.

3. Somdev/Dev- same school [think dev joined me when we were in grade V]. Same college. Neighbors. They moved to another house later.Dev’s mother used to send us cooked food, special items, calculating our lunch or dinner time. She was a horrible cook. Her Rajma masala, I remember used to be cooked in sugar syrup. Dev used to come first in all subjects all thru the school. Got 1^st class in graduation. Almost got selected in state Ranji cricket team. Don’t remember the brand but he did modeling for a shaving blade and bank advertisement on TV during the black & white TV era. He earned Rs.750/= from modeling and we all made him spend it in movies & restaurants. I was Dev’s hero. Sounds funny eh? But true. For some reason [which I cdnt figure even today] he always looked upto me as his Hero. Tried to impersonate/imitate me in more ways than one. I can confess I did take many advantages out of his weird psyche for me. At later stage, I wanted to think, may be he had some deep rooted inferiority complex or something as weird as that. I am not sure. Dev got married after six months I did. Arranged one. Girl of very rich parents. Their kundali/horoscope was perfect, madeForEachOther kind, his father used to boast to all. Dev lacks ambition in his business. He started small and remained small and so very happy, satisfied and content with his small business in electrical goods. In Indian context, financially comfortable.Maruti Zen, red, he has. A white ambassador was their family car. Dev is nonsmoker, teetotaler and keeps planning to become a vegetarian soon. Lights three incense sticks in puja room after bath every morning and always attempts to give me a meek lecture to have a puja room at my home. He hates to read books. Love movies on DVD, not at theatres. He is father of two children, almost same age as my kids, few months this side that side. I have been trying for decades now to teach him how to wear a tie and its knots. Failed always.

4.’Her’/Dev’s wife/Ms.Leo- I have so many names for her. Nice names and not-so-nice names. But I can’t tell them here. Bejan Daruwala & Linda Goodman stuff were Bible for her. NO amount of our jokes, teasing and ridicule could ever dither her from her belief. So, Ms. Leo is apt for her here. Plumpish is what she could be termed. Fair. No, very fair. 5-7? Give one or half  inches this side that side. She looked a big woman, in overall size. Eyes speak. Long hair. Incredible mouth. The first sign of commonality with her I found was, ‘books’. She loved books. So did I. When Dev got married, I could never put her at any level of bhabi or sister or even as a friend’s wife. From day one she was a ‘woman’ to me in my mind frame and in interaction. It was acceptable by circumstances. By us also. Ms.Leo had a snobbish trait in her. Expected, rich parentage may be. I was mad at her next morning of Dev’s marriage when she spilled coffee on my favorite T-shirt. I never did wear that t-shirt but still have it. Wrote the date on it with a ball point pen. Never gave it to laundry. Mark stayed. Ms.Leo is three years younger to me. About six months later or so came to know she attempts to write poetry sometimes. Very immature attempts. For herself. She was the only one in Dev’s household who could remember, I take my coffee black, no sugar. Ms. Leo has a cut mark on left inner upper thigh. Had six stitches after an accident when she was seven years old, learning cycling. Marks stayed.

5. Doc/shrink/shark- Lady Psychiatrist. Her husband is a doc too. About my age. Sexy. Looks ugly when she laughs aloud. Uses a wrong chair in her chamber. I am so sure that her male patients fantasize her in absentia.Did I? Won’t tell you.

6. Sheila- To most men she is the dream girl. Very good looking. Topped in academics. Freedom is her middle name. Earns much more than average Indian male service holders at her age. Single child. No immediate relatives. Own apartment, full paid. Drives own car. Spends almost half the year outside India. Divorced twice. She always has men in her life. One of those rare friends who can live for you, die for you and believes, ‘to hell with judgment’. I and Dev were Sheila’s first husband’s class mates and knew her even before he married him. We remained friends after their divorce also. She works in some higher echelon in an International Agency and makes more than I & Dev put together per month. Once I witnessed sunrise from the balcony of her apartment. Most of the time I find her fridge is empty.

Now, ‘How it all started’…. It was Dev’s son’s birthday. Dinner/party was on their terrace. About 25/30 people, family, friends. ‘She’ came down to their apartment living room from terrace with me while I was looking for an ashtray……..

Well, folks wait for few more days. Will tell you all about the ashtray in next blogJ